Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. ‘Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me’. ‘But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead?’.
‘You lisina to me, some day you goina be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘TIMES UP’?
A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" "Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?" "Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?" "Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"
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