Friday, June 11, 2010

The 'Future is in your hand, hold it gently'

A budding poet trying his best...

Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some idiot stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Here I sit, Broken hearted
Tried to shit, But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,

You're lucky, You had your chance,
I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.

I came here, To shit and stink,
But all I do, Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose...

Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink,
But I comehere to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls....

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space...written high upon the wall)

If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.

We aim to please! You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:

Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...Sign seen at a restaurant:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly!

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from Free Malaysia Today

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Tokonang Den (13)


BEHOLD. Come June 11, it is the time again for all football fanatics throughout the world to enjoy and cherish - a month full of top class football matches. All eyes will surely focus on South Africa where the greatest show on earth is about to begin - where those with the footballing skills will unleash their talents in search of glory...and of course fame and wealth! Never mind the fact that this World Cup tournament will be without Ferdinand or Ballack or Ruben or Drogba? guys who will not make it to Johannesburg.

World Cup tournament though brings back this memory of my yesteryears in Tiger Lane. The one that I shall not forget.

The year was 1974 and West Germany was the host nation of the 10th. World Cup. England already out of the contention and didnot qualify for West Germany.... and that already killed off my interest of the World Cup. But the article that I read in the paper over the weekend, rekindled and ignited whatever little interest that I have on the World Cup. It was an article on Holland and their so called 'total football' - and of course.., their superstar.. Johan Cruyff. Of course there were other 'stars' of WC 74 - such as the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Johann Nesken, Gerd Muller and Paul Breitner. But my interest was more on Cruyff and Holland 's total football!

What prompted me that night was something beyond explanation. But then I had already made up my mind and I stood by my plan. So that nite after prep, quietly I sneaked to the servant quarters to watch Holland playing Sweden. Without prior arrangement, without any hint nor signal and little concern whether I might be disturbing him, I knocked on Hassan's house - aah.! . thank God, reluctantly, he let me in. But I was lucky then for Hassan also wanted to watch the game! We did not talk much though and were totally glued to the box (could it be other reasond as well? I hope not!). The game was okay and ended in a scoreless draw. But, as reported and predicted, Cruyff was having a great game, really outstanding., the real maestro .. the Dutch master!

It was way past midnight when the game ended and after thanking Hassan, as I made my way back to the hostel, out of nowhere, came this car. It was none other than the one driven by the Principal himself - Pak Ya (Yahya Shafie). I was stunned but didnot panick though. When he asked me, I answered him in my stammering voice, that I just came back from the servant quarters watching football i.e the world cup. I expected him to get out from the car and gave me his famous 'penyepak'. But, thank God no he did not. I guessed he must be up to something extra, a bigger agenda than mine and more important perhaps for he simply instructed and shoved me to see him first thing tomorrow morning.

I could not sleep well that night. Worry about my fate and the agony of having to bear the shame of being slept by Pak Ya.., would he be calling a special assembly to punish me? could he ..., aaah! What musibah have I landed to, I was cursing myself to sleep. How I wish then that tomorrow never came or I was away in a faraway land! Solemnly though I promised myself then that should I escaped from getting Pak Ya's famous 'treatment', I will recite the surah yassin thrice!

Friday morning and without telling anyone, I headed for the Principal's room. Pak Lau was already there outside Pak Ya's room. I thought he was there because of my case. So I was quite shocked and surprised when he asked me as to why I was there! Pak Lau went in when he was summoned by Pak Ya and when he came out, he told me that I was to be sent to the Detention Class for 2 days beginning Saturday. I could not believed my luck and could have jumped for joy and peluk Pak Lau! But luckily I didnot!! Simply a big thank 'you Sir.' to Pak Lau.

That weekend was the first time ever I spent my Saturday and Sunday in a detention class! But a well worth punishment I should say!